Town & Country Resources Blog

Families often have questions about traveling with their Nanny. If you are planning to take your Nanny on a trip with you, here are some basic guidelines to consider:

It’s always best to discuss the trip and your expectations with your Nanny before you leave.  Remember, it is not a vacation for your Nanny.  No matter how luxurious the accommodations or where she sits on the plane, she’s still working for you and should be compensated for all of her working hours, especially if they exceed her normal working hours/schedule.

In addition to her regular hourly wage, it is your responsibility to pay for her:
•    Travel
•    Lodging
•    Food
•    Activities while on the job (for example, ski lift tickets or rentals if she’s skiing with the family)

We recommend looking at the entire vacation schedule with your Nanny and confirming which hours she will work for you and which she will have off.  Discuss whether you’d like her to dine with you or not, and if not, what her daily food budget will be. (Please keep in mind that hotel restaurants are sometimes pricier than one would expect.)

Some families pay a flat daily rate so they don’t have to keep track of their Nanny’s work hours.  Many families also offer a daily bonus of $50-100 to compensate the Nanny for being away from home, and a few families simply add 25% or more to their Nanny’s weekly salary.  Extra financial compensation isn’t a must; some families provide the privacy of one’s own hotel room, ski tickets, a spa treatment, or other non-financial considerations.

Travel salaries can also vary depending on workload.  If the Nanny is responsible for watching a second family’s children as well as her employers’, she may receive double pay or a premium on her base salary.  It is also necessary to compensate your Nanny if you have her sleep in the same room with the children or care for them overnight. For the sleeping hours, we recommend a flat rate of $75 per night for school-aged children and $100 for infants and toddlers.

What is most important is that you and your Nanny sit down together when planning the vacation and discuss schedules and compensation.  Taking the time to discuss these factors ahead of time will result in a more enjoyable vacation for you and your family.

Summer vacation for preschool, grade school, or middle school can present challenges for many families.  It can be difficult to decide which activities to participate in and how to piece it all together so that everyone in the family can have a fun, enjoyable and well balanced summer.

Last summer, we opted to get a “Summer Nanny” for our children. Our Summer Nanny was on break from our local college and had spent previous summers working as a counselor at summer camps. Peter wanted someone who would play basketball with him and Anna wanted someone who would get in the pool and go swimming with her. First and foremost, Jens and I wanted to find someone who would make sure our kids were safe and well cared for, but we also wanted someone who would enthusiastically engage with our kids in all their summer activities and help to create a unique, personalized and stress-free summer experience for all of us.

Our Summer Nanny exceeded everyone’s expectations. It was a wonderful summer for our entire family and the kids still talk about their “Summer Buddy.” Our Summer Nanny was able to connect with our kids, show an admirable amount of care and concern for our children, AND provide them with an amazingly unique summer experience! Here are some of the other things our kids did with our Summer Nanny that stand out in our memory:

• Taught the children how to make lanyards and friendship bracelets
• Played games like tag and capture the flag with the children in the back yard
• Packed up the kids and their bikes and went riding with them at a local park
• Cheered the children on at their swim meets and was thrilled when they achieved their personal bests
• Read to the kids when they were tired in the afternoon and needed some down time
• Taught the children about lacrosse (which our Nanny played in college)
• Took the kids to the local museums
• Took them to see a couple of very silly children’s movies
• Accompanied the children when they visited with their grandparents
• Helped the kids keep their rooms clean and picked-up
• Packed lunches before they headed off for the day’s activities
• Attended the summer swim team trip to the waterslides with both children

Both of our children loved their summer with their Summer Buddy.  They were able to participate in their chosen summer activities and were also able to spend valuable time at home reading, playing, sleeping in, and relaxing. Having a Summer Nanny was like getting our own personalized camp counselor!

I am just about to call our Summer Nanny to see about this summer – the kids would be thrilled!

If a Summer Nanny sounds like something your family needs, our Town & Country Temporary Department can help.  We have a pool of qualified and wonderful Summer Nannies that can help you.  To see our Special Summer Nanny Pricing and to learn more about our Summer Nannies, click here.

If you want to be Earth friendly, a great place to start is by making your own cleaners.

Many of our Housekeeper candidates are extremely knowledgeable about environmentally safe and green cleaning techniques. Here are a few of their safe and easy ways to make alternatives to common household cleaning products that work just as well as the chemical-filled cleaners. If you would like to find out more information about our Housekeeper candidates, click here.

To download your own copy of our Natural and Non-Toxic Cleaning Alternatives, click here.

My husband and I shared a Nanny with our in-laws for more than a year.  We entered the Share Care with great enthusiasm.  Together, our families would certainly be able to find a great Nanny, and having all the cousins together was the icing on the cake.

We approached the Share Care like a small business.  Before we started to look for a Nanny, we held meetings to talk about the logistics, what we were looking for in a Nanny, what our needed schedules would be, how we’d handle payroll issues, whose house would be used, etc.  We wanted to make sure that we were all on the same page about how we envisioned the partnership.  While we tried to get everything nailed down in our initial meetings, we found that there were still many smaller issues that arose over time that required us to adjust and modify our arrangement – that is, flexibility over time was at least as important as preparation up front.

Here are some of the things we identified and agreed on in our initial meetings, followed by what came up and surprised us once we started working with our Nanny.

•    Illness policy. We borrowed the illness policy from a local preschool.  We agreed that a child would not participate in the Share Care if they had a fever, cough, runny nose, diarrhea, skin rash or any other symptoms of illness.  We asked our Nanny to be aware of how the children were feeling and to call a parent when and if she felt that a child should go home.

What we didn’t think about… What if a parent is sick?  The same kinds of issues arise when a mom or dad is sick and needs to stay home where the Share Care is happening and the children are being watched.  It is difficult (and maybe even awkward) to share the home with two, three or more kids and a Nanny when you really don’t feel well.  Even worse, the parent could be contagious and the children would be at risk of catching the bug.  We learned that our Share Care group had to have a back-up house to use that was adequately childproofed and any necessary equipment could be transferred there as needed.

•    Meals and Snacks. We decided that each family would bring food for their own child.  This included snacks and meals.  In order to minimize confusion, we made sure that all of the food was clearly labeled and we provided a designated spot in the refrigerator and the pantry for the Share Care food.

What we didn’t think about… It wasn’t long before the kids started to notice what the others were eating and became more interested in the other children’s food.  We learned that we needed to be much more flexible about the food we provided and make sure that we supplied enough for everyone to have some.  When we were able to plan ahead enough, we also rotated responsibility among the families for supplying all the food for assigned days.  We also found we needed to allow the Nanny wide latitude to decide what to serve the children each time they sat down to eat.  Thankfully, we all had a similar philosophy about nutrition.  This is something that is necessary to discuss upfront.

•    Deciding Where the Share Care will Take Place. Share Cares can structure the location of the care in many different ways.  Friends of ours have alternated days, weeks and even months, or agreed to have the care all in one home.  We alternated weeks in our Share Care in order to minimize the number of times that the related equipment needed to be moved from house to house.  This also meant that we were each experiencing the same wear and tear on our home, toys, and equipment and level of energy costs.

What we didn’t think about… What would happen when one home was not available for the Share Care and therefore, the other home hosted the Share Care every day?  If  one parent starts to work from home or a family starts a home improvement project, it can impact the location of the Share Care and can disrupt the original arrangements among the families.  For us, for a variety of reasons one family ended up becoming the primary host family, and it took another round of meetings and negotiations to determine what would be fair and workable.  While there is the benefit to the host family of not having to drop off or pick up your child, there is the added hassle and expense of having multiple people in and out of your home on a daily basis.  These are very difficult things to measure and quantify so it is imperative that the families feel like they can discuss these issues in an open and honest manner.

•   How To Split the Nanny’s Wages. Often, one of the main reasons families will set up Share Care arrangements is to get the benefits of an in-home Nanny while reducing their own costs by splitting the expenses among the group.  In our case, we split the cost of our Nanny’s wages equally between our families.  Seemed simple enough.

What we didn’t think about… From our Nanny’s point of view, this was her profession and her full time job.  For her time commitment, we as a group had to be able to guarantee that she would receive her wages for her full time job.  Over time, as needs changed, some families needed more or less time in the Share Care.  Where one family ends up using substantially less time, they may want to reduce their share of the costs – but doing so means that the other families need to increase their contribution.  Forcing a family to pay a full “share” when they were using considerably less also seemed unfair.  Likewise, where one family starts needing lots more coverage, other families may feel that they are subsidizing the first family.

In our case, the first time we faced this issue, we managed to find a new ‘part time’ family to add to the Share Care when one of the original families reduced their participation.  We never did find a perfect solution, but over time we ended up finding new families to join the Share Care as existing families left or reduced their participation.  In hindsight, that solution worked financially, but we lost the “all in the family” feel of our Share Care group.  If we were to do it again, we would only want to set up a Share Care where all families agreed that they would continue to pay their original share regardless of their participation.

The issues discussed above are just a few of the many issues you likely will need to navigate in order to ensure a long and successful share chare relationship.  Here are some other day-to-day issues to consider as you enter a Nanny Share Care arrangement:

•    How will you handle vacation time? Many of the families we work with give two weeks of paid vacation for the Nanny, with one week being scheduled for the family’s convenience (that is, the Nanny takes a week of her vacation to coincide with the family’s vacation), and one week is at the Nanny’s convenience (so the family could have to arrange for back-up care).  In a Share Care, there are multiple families who will need to coordinate – will the families try to coordinate their vacation time?

•    How often will you give the Nanny performance reviews? Do you have a similar philosophy regarding compensation increases and bonuses?  What if there are disagreements on what feedback to give the Nanny?  What if the Nanny’s feedback singles out one or another family?

•    Who will supply what equipment? If the Nanny needs a portable crib or a high chair, who is responsible for supplying that and will it be kept at the house hosting the Share Care?  This also includes items like diapers and a stroller that can carry more than one child.

•    If your Nanny is sick, or needs to leave early, is one parent willing to step in and help and watch both children until the Nanny returns or the other parent picks up their child?

•    Is the Nanny allowed to drive the kids? Who will supply the car (if the Nanny’s car isn’t large enough to fit a group)?  What activities and destinations outside of the home are allowed?

Entering into a Share Care can seem complicated and risky.  It does take extra preparation, patience and flexibility, but if all the families are willing to put in the extra effort both up front and throughout the relationship, it can be an incredibly rewarding experience for everyone involved.  The children will enjoy one another’s company under the care of a wonderful Nanny; the Nanny will feel valued, appreciated, and confident in her role as the care provider; and the parents will have the peace of mind that their children are well cared for and in a safe environment. To view more FAQ’s about Share Care, click here.

Ask Mary Poppins (aka Mary Pat)

Mary Pat doesn’t fly around with a black umbrella, but she does have over 20 years of experience as a Child Development Expert. These post will answer questions about child development concerns & managing your employer/employee relationship.

Q. As my Nanny’s anniversary date nears, I want to give her an evaluation. How do I give her appropriate feedback and a fair compensation adjustment?

A. Managing a household employee is a very personal business. Your Nanny is, after all, caring for the most precious part of your life: your children. Regular, open communication is essential to creating a healthy, long-lasting relationship between employer and employee. We recommend giving your employee feedback and praise on a frequent on-going basis.

Conducting regular meetings with your employee creates a forum to discuss issues about the children, your family and job satisfaction. When you first hire someone, you may want to meet as often as once a week and then gradually extend it to once every month. At minimum, we recommend three to four informal meetings to “check-in” throughout the year, with a written evaluation on their anniversary date.

Prior to the meeting, review their work agreement, previous performance evaluations, and fill out the evaluation form. Meet with your Nanny in private and at a time when there will be minimal interruptions, such as while the children are at school. Begin the meeting with their strengths and offer specific examples. This is a great opportunity to acknowledge their contribution to the household and say “Thank you”. Next, discuss any previously identified areas needing improvement. Always ask them for their feedback about the job and for suggestions before introducing your ideas for improvement. At the end of the meeting make any revisions to the evaluation and provide the employee with a copy of this for their records.

While there is no clear industry standard for an annual salary increase for household employees, we have seen a range from 3 to 5% for an annual pay increase depending on whether the job (schedule & responsibilities) have changed over the last year, the employee’s performance, and their longevity in the position.

If you are a registered Town & Country Client, contact one of our Placement Counselors for more advice on employee anniversaries and to receive a sample evaluation form.

Ask Mary Poppins (aka Mary Pat)

Mary Pat doesn’t fly around with a black umbrella, but she does have over 20 years of experience as a Child Development Expert. These post will answer questions about child development concerns & managing your employer/employee relationship.

Q. Help! My Nanny is habitually late. She is a terrific Nanny for my son, however, she is typically ten or more minutes late everyday. How do I resolve this issue?

A. Managing a Nanny can be a delicate business. It can be challenging to maintain the balance between having her as a part of your family and being her employer.

If you haven’t already done so, I would recommend setting up a regular time for a meeting to discuss the children, household, and employment issues. Many Nannies find it hard to speak up and will appreciate the opportunity to communicate openly with you.  Having weekly meetings can help you manage situations pro-actively and develop a solid working relationship.

Meetings should always start with the positive aspects of your employment relationship.  This is a time for you to acknowledge your Nanny and thank her for specific contributions and work towards positive solutions to the challenges of family life. Rather than saying, “You do a nice job with Ethan,” she will appreciate more specific feedback like, “I like the way you take the time to let Ethan help you make breakfast in the morning. He seems to be learning a lot about taking turns, measuring, and following directions. And he’s having fun! Thank you.”

Next, identify the problem. In this case I would say something like, “I notice that you have been about ten minutes late to work lately. This causes challenges for my scheduling. I would like to talk with you about how we can get back on track. Are you having a scheduling problem in the mornings that I can help you figure out?”

It is possible that 1) the Nanny hadn’t noticed that she was late. 2) She does actually have a scheduling or transportation problem that can easily be resolved. Many times, a simple, honest talk with an employee will dissolve any employer/employee issue. Also remember to ask her if she has any issues to bring up and make a plan to follow-up and remember to schedule a meeting to check-in again soon.

Do your household employees think that their email address or the information on their MySpace or Facebook profile won’t impact their professional image or their ability to keep their job?

They need to think again.

While having an online profile is all the rage and everyone has an email account, the details of this information could be more important to your employee’s professional image and your family than you or they may realize.

(While this is based on a true story, the names and details have been changed.  The actual family and Nanny were not associated with Town & Country Resources.)

Allyssa thought she’d found her dream Nanny job.  In her first meeting with the family there was an immediate connection and sense of comfort.  The three days she did as a working trial went perfectly.  The salary was great, it was a 15-minute commute from her house and the five-year-old boy shared Allyssa’s love of soccer.

The family also thought they’d found their dream Nanny and were just pulling together the details of the offer when they decided to do a little Internet searching on her.  Sure enough, they found a MySpace account open to the public.  Not only did Allyssa describe crazy all-night parties on a recent trip to Mexico with her friends, she also talked at length about the family she used to work for and specifically about the list of things that bugged her about the job.

For the family, it was a rude awakening.  They were shocked by the new information they now had about Allyssa’s personal life.  Worse, the lack of discretion and good judgment she had shown in violating her previous employers’ privacy was inexcusable.  They now knew two things, that Allyssa wasn’t getting the job offer and that Internet research would now be part of what they would do on each potential hire.

Your employee might think they are okay because they don’t happen to have a MySpace or FaceBook profile, but don’t forget about the rest of their public image.  A simple search on Google or Yahoo! may reveal things they didn’t even know were there and would prefer to keep private.

• Is their email address suggestive or otherwise unprofessional?

• Does their voice mail greeting have music or anything other than a brief, professional and short voice message?

• If they do have a profile on MySpace or FaceBook, they should make it private by requiring pre-approved viewers to log in.  (This is a simple setting they can do on their account.)  As an employer, you may want to add checking candidates’ online information into your due diligence process, and also ask that all information about your family be kept strictly private by your employee.

Here at Town & Country, we always do an online search of each of our candidates, as well as provide helpful tips and awareness to both our client s and candidates in regards to a candidate’s online public image.

When looking to hire a household employee, it is worth the extra effort to do some research online.  Especially when searching for a job, employees need to take the time to make sure their public image is something they, and the family that they will be working for, can be proud of. 

Some of the people I speak with who are considering hiring a Baby Nurse are still not quite sure how it all really works so here are some answers to a few of the most common questions I get about Baby Nurses…

If I’m breastfeeding does it make sense to have a Baby Nurse?
When the baby wakes up, the Baby Nurse can bring the baby to Mom for nursing. After feeding, Mom has the option of handing the baby right back over to the Baby Nurse who can burp, change and settle the baby back to sleep. Sometimes the burping and changing process takes as long as the actual feeding so being able to hand the baby off for this allows Mom to go right back to sleep. Also, having someone supporting you at 3 a.m. (answering your questions and getting you that glass of want you’ll need) can make a big difference.

Additionally, Mom has the option using a breast pump and having the baby bottle fed by the Baby Nurse. After feeding, the Baby Nurse can store the extra milk, clean the pump bottles and set up the pump equipment again.

According to data from a recent study 13% of mothers who wanted to breastfeed were unsuccessful in doing so because “they didn’t get enough support to get breastfeeding going.”* While a T&C Baby Nurse is not typically a formally trained lactation consultant, they are often very experienced with supporting breastfeeding mothers and have many suggestions and tips that can help make the process successful for mother and baby. They’ll support Mom without any judgment if she decides at any point that she no longer wishes to breastfeed, wants to supplement with formula, etc.

Who are T&C Baby Nurses and what are they really like?
T&C represents women of all ages and backgrounds. Because we require a significant amount of hands on experience in the field (e.g. our least experienced Baby Nurse has worked in the field since 2004) a good portion of our pool are a more mature profile. Because a T&C Baby Nurse has such a high level of experience even parents who have already had 3 children say they’ve learned valuable tips from our Baby Nurses.

A skilled Baby Nurse knows that her job is to support the parents and she is clear that her own opinions are irrelevant unless specifically asked. They are also generally quiet by nature and know when to step in and be helpful and when to be “invisible”. She often has suggestions for how to include a partner who wants to help and tips for how to help an older child adjust to the addition of a new baby.

Any Baby Nurse who insists on doing things her way, one who is overbearing or aggressive in any way is simply not a T&C Baby Nurse.

Does the Baby Nurse sleep at night and where do they stay?
A Baby Nurse will most frequently stay right in the nursery with the baby. A bed is usually necessary since it’s difficult for a Baby Nurse to sit in a chair for 10+ hours, however, this accommodation will depend on the Baby Nurse.

Some Baby Nurses will “doze” if they have taken care of everything and the baby is sleeping peacefully. Their sleep is a light one and they are always right next to the baby so that they can immediately respond to whatever the baby may need. Other Baby Nurses will stay awake all night reading with a book light, working on a laptop, etc.

What else does a Baby Nurse do other than caring for the baby?
A Baby Nurse’s priority is always the baby’s care and keeping the nursery dark and quiet, but depending on the layout of the house they will usually be as helpful as possible with other baby related tasks such as, washing and folding baby laundry, sterilizing and prepping bottles, cleaning and setting up breast pump equipment and straightening the nursery.

I’ve also found that T&C clients who have had a Baby Nurse get off on solid footing in terms of getting the baby on a good sleeping schedule. I have found that parents working without a Baby Nurse sometimes inadvertently create sleeping habits that ultimately create sleep problems for the baby (and thus the parents) down the road. A T&C Baby Nurse can also usually get the baby sleeping through the night much sooner than parents are able to without this support.

Does having a Baby Nurse impact our ability to bond with our baby?
Postpartum baby support is not a new idea, in other cultures and parts of the country, women have other women around them, supporting them with the daily care of both themselves and their babies. In the Bay Area, frequently extended family lives far away, but even if extended family is nearby they are usually older and asking them for help at 3 a.m. isn’t really a viable or appropriate option.

A new baby is a wonderful gift, but also brings on an exhausting and sometimes very stressful time. A new parent who has someone there to help maximize their sleep, answer their questions and generally provide emotional support is more able to relax and enjoy their new baby, actually allowing them to be more “present” for the bonding process. A parent with other children in the home is juggling their needs as well, including helping them adjust (without resentment) to the newest addition. Being available to nurture the bonds with their other children during the day without having support and rest at night can quickly become a significant challenge.

Additionally, according to the Mayo clinic**, about 10% of new moms experience postpartum depression, a severe form of emotional distress that kicks in the postpartum period. Hormones and lack of sleep added to feelings of being generally overwhelmed cause some women to feel that they’ve lost control. Postpartum depression can make it difficult to bond with a baby. A Baby Nurse can provide much needed sleep for a Mom struggling with postpartum depression, allowing her to function better and be able to enjoy her time with the baby.

Why do dads usually like the idea of a Baby Nurse?
Frequently Dad is big fan of the idea of a Baby Nurse. I believe this is because (frankly) it gives them a bit of their partner back and brings in a neutral party to help educate and support both Mom and Dad. Some Dads (especially of breastfeeding mothers) really want to be supportive and involved, but are unsure of how exactly how they can best do that – a Baby Nurse can gently educate a Dad on the different ways they can be involved in the baby’s care. Especially with a first child, Mom and Dad are thrown into whole new roles and a Baby Nurse can act as gentle and supportive coach to help as they begin to figure things out.

Click Here to view our Baby Nurse Candidates.

* From “New Mother’s Speak Out” created by Eugene R. Declercq, Carol Sakala, Maureen P. Corry and Sandra Applebaum. August 2008. Report of surveys conducted January – February and July – August 2006
for Childbirth Connection by Harris Interactive® in partnership with Lamaze International

** By Mayo Clinic Staff June 7, 2008. © 1998-2009 Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research (MFMER).

One of the important conversations that we have with new clients to Town & Country is whether they have thought about how they will handle payroll for their new nanny, housekeeper or other household employee.  We don’t have reliable data on what portion of household employees in this country are paid “off the books” or “under the table,” but we suspect the percentage is pretty high.

So, probably because it’s so common, it may seem as if paying “off the books” is safe – or at least very low risk.  But doing so carries some important risks for the family who is employing someone in their home (and those risks can come to pass in some unexpected ways, and means that the employee could miss out on some important benefits.

First, here’s the basic law.  When a family hires someone to work in their home, they become a household employer.  Household employees include nannies, medical caregivers, housekeepers, gardeners, cooks, personal assistants, household managers, etc.  By law, these individuals cannot be classified as independent contractors (or, at least, the exceptions are very, very few).  As an employer, the household is required by law:

1.    To pay federal and state employer taxes, including Social Security, Medicare, federal and California unemployment insurance.  These are obligations of the employer, and they’re separate from the obligations that the household empoyee has.

2.    To withhold certain taxes from the employee’s wages, and report and remit those amounts to the IRS and California (or other state) tax authorities.  These amounts include the employee’s share of Social Security and Medicare, as well as disability insurance inmost states.  In addition, as employer you are obligated to withhold state and federal income tax on behalf of the employee, but that amount may be zero based on your employee’s W-4 elections.

3.    To carry workers’ compensation insurance.  This is a requirement in California and most other states.  Workers’ compensation insurance is meant to provide certain coverage if an employee suffers a work-related injury.

Payroll services can typically calculate and help a family with the first two items above, or you can calculate and pay those amounts to the appropriate government agencies.  Workers’ compensation for household employees may already be covered under the homeowner’s policy, or is likely available as a relatively low-cost rider.

(One exception to note:  If an individual household employee is paid less than $1700 (2009) in a year, then the household does not have any federal employer tax responsibilities.  You may still have state or other tax obligations.)

For potential employers, there are three main reasons we recommend paying household staff on the books – and many of these reasons apply to employees as well:

Tax Breaks for the Employer:  Household employers are entitled to certain tax breaks if their employee is paid legally.  If you have access to a Flexible Spending Account (or Dependant Care Account) through your own employer, you may use those pre-tax contributions to pay your own household employee’s wages.  If you do not have access to your own FSA, then you may claim the Tax Credit for Child or Dependent Care on your personal income tax return at the end of the year.  The after-tax benefits to you of these breaks can cover all or most of the additional costs otherwise associated with paying an employee “on the books.”  Check with your tax adviser for specifics.

These tax breaks will not be available to households that have not made the appropriate IRS and state tax filings.

Disability, Unemployment and other Important Benefits:  Depending on the state, if a household employee suffers a non-work related injury that prevents them from working, the employee may be eligible to receive financial assistance.  (Work related injuries would be covered by workers’ compensation insurance.)

In general, if a household employee loses their job through no fault of their own, they should be entitled to receive up to six months of unemployment benefits at up to 50% of their salary.

Often, household employees will be eligible for the Earned Income Tax Credit. Employees who are single parents may qualify for this federal tax break, reducing their tax bill by as much as $3,500 per year.  In order to receive this credit, the empoyee must, among other things, have earned some income that has been reported.

Employees paid on the books will receive retirement benefits and basic medical coverage through Social Security and Medicare contributions.  Research shows the average household employee for whom employee payroll taxes have been paid will receive $5 for every $1 they contribute.

People with reported incomes will be establishing a verifiable employment history, which is necessary to qualify for things like car loans, home loans, student loans, credit cards, etc.

Peace of Mind:  This is the important one.  At the start of this post, we said that the risks of non-compliance can come to pass in some unexpected ways.  It is true that IRS has been aggressively pursuing household employers who pay illegally.  It’s also true that in this tough economic environment the IRS is likely going to be stepping up its enforcement activities (and failure to meet these tax obligations is considered tax evasion and can result in expensive back taxes, penalties and interest).

But in our experience, getting audited is not the normal way for families to end up in trouble.  Instead, something happens during the course of the employee’s job that triggers a need for one of the benefits above – and if the employee has been paid off the books, then the needed benefit won’t be there.  The most common scenario by far: The family’s employee loses his or her job and files for unemployment insurance.  The state unemployment agency then checks to make sure that unemployment insurance has been paid, and if it hasn’t (i.e., because you were paying off the books), then the state unemployment agency will start a process that will typically result, in one way or the other, in the family having to make up for the unpaid unemployment insurance premiums, payroll taxes, etc. (plus interest and penalties).  Often, an employee does not realize that unemployment insurance has not been paid where they have been paid off the books. But in this tough economic environment, finding a new job is taking longer than ever, and the chances are good that an employee that has been let go will have to file for unemployment benefits.

I’m just old enough to remember trying to read columns by Herb Caen, Art Hoppe and Charles McCabe in the San Francisco Chronicle.  (This is back in the day when the “Sporting Green” was actually printed on green paper.)  I was trying to move beyond the funny pages, and I was just old enough to read their columns, but not really old enough to understand what they were talking about, so that didn’t last long.

What does that have to do with raising kids you ask?  Well, in reference to the three asterisks that would separate the paragraphs in the column, I think one of those columnists (all of them?) would talk about the “three dot lounge,” and “three dot-ism,” and a laundry tip we recently heard about reminded me of those columns years ago.

The other day we had spent the day with neighbors whose three sons are friends with our two kids.  All five of them are on the same swim team, so as we were packing up at the end of the day and trying to separate their (mostly identical) sweat jackets, we noticed that our friends had put dots on the labels of their sons’ jackets.  Curious, we asked mom what the dots meant.

Well, it turns out that when she bought a piece of clothing for the oldest son, she would put one dot on the label.  When that item got handed down to the next oldest child, she would add a dot, and so on.

That made it very easy to identify which clothes belonged to whom when the clean laundry was being folded and separated – one dot for the oldest, two dots for the next oldest, and so on.  And it was also a relatively easy and unique way of finding their stuff in the piles of forgotten clothes at school.  Maybe not as effective as a good old sewn-in name label, but certainly a lot easier to update as it got handed down.

*     *     *

Herb Caen probably wouldn’t have thought it worthy of his column, but we thought it was a great idea!